Madame Milk Machine - Bee's Postpartum Unfiltered
Madam Milk Machine
My favourite way of describing birth for the first time is this: it’s like running a marathon where you can’t do any running beforehand, to prepare you can only read books about marathons and watch videos of other people running. And I think postpartum and motherhood in general are much the same.
The one thing in the first days postpartum that I wasn’t prepared for was my milk coming in. Breastfeeding seems so picturesque in the media, and I’d been told about the changes from colostrum to proper milk in the first few days, but I had no idea what that actually meant. I woke up on day three with two boulders hanging off my chest and was in so much pain for days, leaking everywhere all day and night, waking up sopping wet and crying because I had had no idea that this would happen. I thought I’d have lots of laundry because of baby poop and spit up, but those first few weeks I had more laundry because of leaking milk than anything else! My midwife laughed when she turned up for a home visit one morning and I answered the door topless in an adult diaper and clutching a flannel to my chest trying to soak up my milk. I would sit there feeding my baby thinking everything was great and then lift her away thinking she’d weed through the nappy but nope I had leaked all over her and I’d sob because it all was just so overwhelming. I knew some mums had issues with breastfeeding but I thought it was only ever problems with low supply or not being able to breastfeed; I had no idea oversupply was a thing or that my baby would struggle to latch firstly because my nipples were inverted and then because my boobs were too full and firm and she couldn’t get a grip with her tiny mouth.
Every time I thought I had the hang of it something new would come along. Breastfeeding really is a journey and a LOT more of a roller coaster ride than people realise. It’s a constant learning curve for you and your baby and I wish I had been better prepared for it, even just to know that it wasn’t going to be as simple as put the baby to the boob and she’ll know what to do! My baby is 5 months old soon and it’s still a ride - is she eating enough, why did she only feed a few minutes that time, why hasn’t she pooped today, why is she pooping so much today, my boob is sore is that a blocked duct, damn I’m leaking again! The challenges don’t get easier they just change, and once you’re feeling good and like you’ve mastered the latest challenge, another one comes along.
In saying all of that, I still wouldn’t change a single thing because I have a beautiful baby girl and would go through hell and back for her.
🔥💗 Thank you so much, Bee - for your honesty, and vulnerability and for sharing a piece of your postpartum journey with us. This is such a powerful step towards changing the narrative around our postpartum experiences. It's time to not only celebrate the victories but also empathise with the challenges!
If you want to help normalise postpartum and share your story click here x
#postpartumwithvivalavulva
